I have trudged down to the basement for the first time in months in order to use the computer. Now I remember why I do not like it down here: it is stinky, cold, and there is a monster that yells at you for the first ten minutes or so. I'm not sure if it is a territory thing, or just general complaining.
The computer is my friend because it does not care that I am full of disgusting sickness. It cannot be infected.
The computer is not my friend because it secretly speeds up time when i am not paying attention in order to eat my life. I just spent thirty minutes looking at wigs.
I am currently taking any tips, hints or pointers in my pursuit of gainful employment (or ungainful, I have much free time). Feel free to drop something in the suggestion box found below.
I have to say, this wig idea is brilliant. It will make an excellent disguise allowing me to move freely amongst normal people. Now I need only to learn their strange mode of speech!